In which Adam Delved is questioned by the authorities

On my way back to Soggy Bottom, I stopped in Toronto to attend a conference that happened to be taking place, in hopes of lining up some job prospects. Uncle F and aunt B generously allowed me to stay in their house in Burlington, although they would not be home. I, being somewhat inpecunious due to an unfortunate hiccup in cash flow, as well as being Dutch cheap of a naturally thrifty disposition, accepted the offer.

I took the train from Toronto, which trundled gently along a landscape of factories and housing developments before finally depositing me at the station in Burlington. A short cab ride brought me to F&B's house. I got the key from the neighbor, dropped my bags inside, and went out to stroll to the local strip mall for some sustenance. Along the way, I took a snapshot of the picture-perfect neighborhood:

It's election season in Canada, and I saw a yard sign promoting a candidate with an extremely long name. I thought it was funny that they had to make a special, extra-long yard sign for this candidate, so I took a picture of that, too. Sorry for the poor resolution on this one. (Note: I saw only Conservative yard signs on my walk).

A half-hour later, I was walking back from dinner at the strip mall, when a policeman in a black SUV pulled up next to me and asked me to stop. He took my ID, and spoke into his radio that he had found someone "matching the description". Then some questions. Was I eating in that restaurant, over by the window? Where did I live? Where was I staying? What did I do for a living? Did I once live in Ontario? Did I have a phone? Could he see the pictures on my phone? Well, no, but yes, here you are, officer, as you can see, nothing of any concern here. In the meantime, I saw a second police SUV cruising the parking lot where we stood.

At length the officer gave me back my phone and my ID and said, "the reason I stopped you is that somebody saw you taking pictures with your phone and was concerned you were taking pictures of children in that neighborhood. And, out of an excess of caution, they notified the police."

I decided it wasn't the time to expatiate on why members of the Upright Citizens Brigade needed to call in the cops and waste everyone's time every time they see a shadow, so I just walked home. But here's the thing: this all happened more than a half hour after I took the picture. So were the police in full alert for that whole time, scouring the streets for a vagrant photographer? Or did the Upright Citizen see me sitting at the restaurant window and call in the police? And given that there were no children (or indeed, anyone) on the street, why did anyone care?

Uncle F reports that he's seen a lot more police cruisers than usual in his neighborhood - maybe it's all because of me? In any case he also told me that the
police there is famous for having nothing to do.

Anyway, I leave you with this message for the election: be afraid. Be very afraid.

- Adam Delved, vagrant photographer